Somatic Boundaries and the Mind-Body Connection | Dr. John Stracks & Michelle Archer
Video: Watch the full session here → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PLrZ7cw_-8
Dr. John Stracks: Welcome, everyone. I'm Dr. John Stracks, a physician based in the Chicago area, practicing via telehealth and working in the mind-body space for many years. I'm joined today by Michelle Archer, a somatic psychotherapist who works with our practice at Cormendi from her home office in Durango, Colorado. Michelle, it's wonderful to have you here.
Michelle Archer: It's great to be here. I'm excited to talk about boundaries and all things mind-body.
Dr. Stracks: Can you introduce yourself a bit for those who don't know you?
Michelle: Sure. I'm a coach and also a PA — I've been in medicine for a long time. I've moved more into mind-body coaching over the years through Dr. Stracks' practice and the yoga world. I'm a somatic experiencing practitioner, a yoga therapist, and I also offer psychedelic-assisted therapy support.
What Is Somatic Psychotherapy?
Dr. Stracks: The topic today is somatic boundaries. Before we get there, can you explain what makes somatic therapy different from traditional psychotherapy?
Michelle: Somatic therapy really starts with the body. The idea is: what's happening in the body right now, and what information does that give us? We say the body has a story to tell — let's listen to it.
We also recognize that regulating the body can be powerfully impactful. Sometimes we're focused on reframing our thoughts while the body is having a full experience we're not tending to. Somatic therapy shifts that. We might set aside the story for a moment and notice: what am I feeling in my body right now? That becomes a doorway.
It's also about slowing down, which runs counter to how most of us move through our days. The core of somatic work is offering space, time, and support to what you're experiencing in your body, so we can gather information and support a shift.
Dr. Stracks: So if I came to see you — say, dealing with anxiety or pain — would I still tell you what's going on in my life?
Michelle: It often starts that way. We're storytellers. But while you're talking, I'm watching what's happening in your body — facial expressions, posture, breathing. I might pause you and say, "Do you notice what's happening in your body as you say that?" That builds awareness. Then we can start working with what the body is showing us, which often helps things slow down and come back into regulation.
Dr. Stracks: This becomes especially relevant with physical pain — the intersection of psychology and physical symptoms. Most people's experience with talk therapy doesn't include dropping into their physical experience in the moment.
Michelle: Exactly. And with pain specifically, we tend to want to leave the body because it's uncomfortable. But the more we disconnect from our bodies, the less access we have to what might actually shift things. Leaving the body is also associated with a stress state — a survival response — and that stress state is part of what fuels pain. So there's a lot we can work with there.
Understanding Somatic Boundaries
Dr. Stracks: Let's talk about boundaries. Honestly, this concept was completely new to me as an adult. I first encountered it when I started studying somatic psychotherapy. My initial way of understanding it was learning the difference between what belongs to me and what belongs to other people.
One of the clearest examples I saw was a patient of mine — a teacher — who had frequent back spasms. Over time, we discovered he literally did not have the ability to say no. Over each semester, colleagues would gradually hand him more and more responsibilities. He'd start the year with his own workload, and slowly someone would ask him to cover a class, coach a team, accompany the band to a competition. His metaphorical backpack kept getting heavier and heavier.
The only way he knew how to give everything back was to have a back spasm. He'd be forced to step back, redistribute, start to recover — and then the cycle would repeat. It took him a long time to understand he had a right to keep what was his.
Michelle: And as you were telling that story, you physically put on the backpack — you showed us the weight of it. That's somatic awareness in action. The body is showing us something, often before we consciously register it. Neuroscience tells us there's usually a lot of signal showing up before pain arrives. If we can notice earlier — "I feel weighted down," "I've taken on things I don't actually want" — we may be able to respond before the body has to escalate.
Somatic Boundary-Setting Exercise
Dr. Stracks: You and I talked about doing a somatic boundary-setting exercise. Let's walk people through it — those at home can follow along.
Michelle: Great. First, bring to mind a situation where you'd like to have a clearer boundary — with a person, a relationship, a dynamic at work. You don't have to share it.
Now, look around your space and gather a few objects — books, a water bottle, a candle, anything nearby. We're going to use these physical objects to create a boundary around you.
Place them where feels right — in front of you, to the sides, behind you. Don't overthink it. Just feel it out. How close do you want them? How far apart? Is the boundary solid, or does it have some openness to it?
(Dr. Stracks sets up physical objects around himself.)
Michelle: Now settle in. Notice what it feels like to sit within your boundary. Look at it. Sense into your body. What do you notice?
Dr. Stracks: I'm thinking about one of my college-age kids — something he really needs to do on his own, but I want to step in. There's definitely some emotion coming up. It feels conflicting.
Michelle: That's okay. And you can modify the boundary as you notice your response to it. Boundaries don't have to be walls. They can be softer, more transparent. You can still reach across — connection doesn't go away.
Dr. Stracks: As I settle into it, it's getting a little more comfortable. Everything is about arm's length away. Nothing is right on top of me, but nothing is so far away that I can't reach it if I need to. And I'm noticing — just a little — that my shoulders are releasing. There's less of an impulse to reach across.
Michelle: Take a moment with that. Notice the settling — shoulders soften, energy calms a little. Now imagine bringing this sense of boundary with you when you're with your son. What comes up?
Dr. Stracks: There's more of a sense that he's okay on the other side. And there's sadness — I can feel it behind my eyes. But less of an urgency to fix it or take over. And it doesn't feel like an all-or-nothing boundary. He can still reach across. I can still be present for him.
Michelle: That's exactly it. You're tending to yourself while still showing up for him. That's what somatic boundary work makes possible.
How Somatic Boundaries Support Physical Healing
Dr. Stracks: For those who do mind-body work, how do somatic boundaries help manage physical symptoms?
Michelle: A few ways. First, somatic boundaries are really about coming back to ourselves — being with ourselves. When we're with ourselves, we're more in tune with our needs. Often when pain shows up, we missed that there was a need building. It got louder and louder until the body had to speak up in a bigger way.
Second, when we come back to ourselves, we reconnect with our life force — what drives us, what brings us joy. That is profoundly healing on its own. It's a completely different orientation than the fixing mindset we tend to get stuck in with chronic pain.
Third, there's the relational piece — how do I be in relationship and still get my needs met? So much of what I see with chronic symptoms is relational. People are overextended, people-pleasing, unable to say no, or absorbing others' stress as their own.
I had IBS for years. I tried every elimination diet, every supplement, every protocol. And then I ended the relationship that wasn't working — and it all went away. My body had been saying no for a long time. As soon as I honored that, the symptoms resolved.
Q&A Highlights
Q: How can I stay in "body listening mode" as I get older instead of drifting back into my head?
Michelle: Set aside a dedicated time each day to check in. A yoga therapist I trained with had a simple practice called "What's up today?" — you sit down, slow down, and ask: what's happening in my body, my breath, my heart, my spirit? It's the slowing down itself that opens the door. Make it a regular, informal practice.
Q: I counsel and support many people throughout the day. How do I avoid absorbing their pain and experiencing compassion fatigue?
Michelle: This is so common for helpers. Somatically, I'd suggest anchoring back into your own body while you're with others — feel the back of your chair, feel your feet on the floor, feel where you are. That simple act of "here I am" helps you maintain the distinction between their experience and yours.
I also work with imagined boundaries — not just physical ones. One client has a force field. It has specific qualities he's imagined: he can still see through it, reach out, take in what he chooses — but he can also let things stay outside it. Another client uses a cinder-block wall at waist height. He can reach over it, still see people. We play with the image until it feels right. These imaginative tools help the nervous system actually experience separateness while staying in connection.
Q: What practices help build somatic awareness over time?
Michelle: The foundation is simply checking in with your body regularly. You don't have to have all the answers about what you're feeling — it's more about building the habit of: oh, here I am, in a body. The more you do that in ordinary moments, the more available it is in charged ones.
Other practices: physical sensation work — squeezing your body, tapping, feeling the edges of your skin in the shower. Yoga nidra is one of my favorites — it's a body scan practice that builds the felt sense of inhabiting yourself. The message is: this is my body, my body belongs to me.
Meditation, body scans, any practice that helps you notice where your body is — all of it builds the muscle.
Dr. John Stracks practices mind-body medicine via telehealth nationally and internationally. Michelle Archer is a somatic coach, PA, somatic experiencing practitioner, and yoga therapist with Cormendi. To work with Michelle on somatic psychotherapy or somatic boundary work, contact Cormendi directly.